So, you’ve just seen a photo of yourself on social media – it’s unfiltered, and you are a bit horrified about how you look. At the same time, you are comparing it to those amazing-looking people in ads – perfect hair, skin, and body.
“Nobody’s perfect.” How many times have we heard this throughout our lives? We get it. Everyone has flaws; everyone makes mistakes.
But how much time do you spend dwelling on these things? This is wasted time because guess what? No one else is dwelling on your imperfections. If they aren’t, why are you? The answer lies in our need to compare ourselves to those who look or act more perfectly than we think we do. And as we continue to make those comparisons, the more unhappy we become.
And the more we compare, the more we obsess about our imperfections. If we keep it up, it can lead to avoiding a normal social life because we are so afraid of what others might think. And it has to stop before it ever gets to this point.
So, here are five steps you can take to turn this around, focus on your assets, and come to love yourself as perfectly imperfect.
Time to Celebrate Your Uniqueness
So, how exactly do you come to see yourself as highly valuable despite what you see as flaws? Here are some things you can do right now.
Reduce Your Social Media Use
One of the things that social media does is “force” you to make comparisons. You see photos and selfies of others and they look better. And they may be out with friends who also look amazing. Their bodies are better too.
Now, reducing your social media use doesn’t mean that you give it up altogether, of course. You have friends you want to stay in touch with, and you message a lot. But you need to take control of what you dwell on as you scroll through posts, photos, and videos.
- Limit the time you spend on social media – even set time limits and abide by them.
- Unfollow the accounts of those who always make you feel ugly or inferior
- Take the apps off your phone, so you can only access them on your computer
Expand Your Cultural Horizons
One of the best impacts of technology is the ability to make connections with people from all over the world – “normal” people with imperfections just like you have. Engaging in chats and discussions can help you get your mind on many things other than your looks. Check out https://hily.com/international-dating/, a dating app that focuses on authentic conversations among users from all over the planet. You’ll meet people with all kinds of looks – perfectly imperfect.
Lose the Magazines
So, you are in the checkout line at the grocery store. And there they are. Those glamor magazines with perfect women on the covers or those fitness rags with the perfect body staring at you. You grab one or both, wanting to know what are the latest hair and makeup ideas or to see if there are newer methods for losing weight and toning up. At home, you pour through them, looking at all the “perfect people” and getting depressed. Just stop it. Ignore those mags – those models don’t look like that in real life, and you know it.
Get Some New Heroes and Role Models
If you are watching the Kardashians or other shows like that, please stop. These are not people living real life like you. Yes, the “Bachelor” is a hunk, and yes, the “Bachelorette” is gorgeous, but “normal” people don’t live and act like this. Stick with the other 98% and find some new heroes.
Where are these new heroes? They are all over – writers, artists, athletes, the single mom working three jobs to raise her children well, the volunteers at hospitals, animal shelters, and schools, etc. These are real people doing wonderful things, and they are perfectly imperfect, just like you.
What are you contributing to? When you get outside of yourself and take up a cause that is important to you, you become a hero and a role model to others – how cool is that?
See the Larger Picture
You are so much more than how you look. And so is anyone you love. And when you look at the larger picture, you will see all of the great things about yourself (and your partner if you have one). Maybe you are a rising star in your career; maybe you have just managed to buy your first home; maybe you are always there for your friends when they have crises or are in need of help. None of these people in your life even notice your flaws.
So focus on these amazing things about yourself whenever you find yourself falling into that self-pity mode about your physical flaws. It’s called self-love.
Be Perfectly Imperfect and Love It
Two final thoughts:
- Focusing on and even obsessing over your physical flaws is a bad habit. But bad habits can be broken – people do it all the time. Break your habit by using these five tips.
- You are unique. Every person is. And every person, no matter how much cosmetic surgery they have, still has flaws. Be your unique self – no one else cares about your flaws, so you don’t need to either.
