Anger is one of the most powerful emotions that exist. It’s also one of the most destructive. Not only can an outburst of anger harm another person, but holding anger inside can cause you harm as well.
Anger isn’t inherently bad since it can show you where your boundaries are will help you see your triggers that need to be addressed. However, the accumulation of anger can become unhealthy really fast.
In our society, expressing anger isn’t acceptable unless it’s done privately, like when you’re venting to a friend or if you head out to the middle of the forest to scream at the top of your lungs – alone. Women are especially taught to keep their anger inside.
People don’t like to see anger expressed because it can be scary and threatening. Even animals tend to shy away from angry people.
There is a healthy way to express anger, but it’s not something we’re taught as young kids. If you grew up in the United States, you were probably taught to keep your anger to yourself. You might have even been told not to share your feelings if they’re negative.
Since expressing anger isn’t part of the cultural norm, it often becomes suppressed, and that’s where it can create all sorts of problems. Here’s how suppressed anger can hurt you.
1. Suppressed anger inhibits healthy expression
Suppressed anger is often the result of unmet needs, whether it’s physical, emotional, or social. The longer those needs remain unmet, the more anger is stored. At some point, it will be triggered to release, and the explosion will impact anyone who happens to be around at the time.
When anger gets suppressed, it becomes harder to express it in a healthy manner. Usually, people who suppress their anger don’t even know how. The best way to learn is through a counselor. Anger management counseling teaches healthy ways to express anger without causing harm to yourself or others. Ultimately, you’ll want to gain coping skills to avoid allowing anger to build up in the first place.
2. Suppressed anger prevents root healing
If you’re interested in healing your emotional pain at the root so it never comes back, suppressed anger can make that difficult. The longer you suppress an emotion, the longer it will take to find the root of the problem because you’ll avoid looking deeper into your triggers. When you get angry, you’ll suppress it and move on with your day.
When healing is your goal, suppressing any emotion will prevent you from getting there. Whichever healing methodology or philosophy you subscribe to, make sure it’s training you into the habit of sitting with your emotions rather than running away.
If you can do that much, you’ll find it easier to discover the roots of your trauma and release it for good.
3. You might be damaging your organs
Strong emotions have an impact on the body, both positively and negatively. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, anger directly impacts the liver. This can result in headaches, a red face and eyes, dry mouth, and dizziness. It can also contribute to turbulent moods.
Another consideration is that anger can lead you to substance abuse. Many people turn to alcohol and drugs to get relief from emotional pain, including anger. If you end up using substances as a crutch, you can do serious harm to your organs. Alcohol will specifically damage your liver, and drugs are likely to hurt your kidneys.
4. Anger outbursts can hurt people
The more anger is suppressed, the more pressurized it becomes. An outburst of anger fueled by this pressure can really hurt the people in your life. Not just emotionally but physically, too.
If you’re prone to violent outbursts, no matter how small (even just punching a wall) there’s a chance you might unintentionally take your anger out on someone else physically. This can lead to all sorts of problems, including lost friendships, distant family members, and even lawsuits, not to mention the guilt of knowing you’ve hurt someone.
Learn the skills to manage anger
If there’s one skill that will help you navigate life a little easier, it’s learning how to manage anger so it doesn’t build up into an explosion. Once you learn this skill, anytime your needs aren’t being met or someone invalidates you, you’ll know how to be assertive without being demanding or disrespectful. However, the real power to control your anger will come from reducing your reaction to stressors so you don’t generate intense anger to start with.
