Well, to be fair and honest, it’s not wrong to be single. Living without a relationship can be an unbelievably reasonable alternative, mostly for those in numerous relationships who just look unfulfilled consistently.
Although it can be because of chemistry (or lack of it) or your ex’s problems, it is also important to recognize how you can sabotage your relationships if you take into consideration your attitude and how you kick good people out of your life knowingly or unknowingly.
The reality is that, it takes 2 people to make a perfect relationship and you are one of the contributing factor that will determine whether the relationship will work. Even if your relationships are not deliberately sabotaged, you could also engage in conduct that might lead to their destruction.
The very next time you question, “Why am I alone? “understand that there may be your own behaviour as a contributing factor of your mess. Here are the 10 reasons why you are still single even though you do not wish to:
You are Too Demanding
Hardly anyone wants to do anything against his will in as much as your partner can enjoy spending time with you. This can all range from frequent text and call to say how they dress, how much money they need to spend, or who they can afford.
While these red flags become more striking, some relationship experts say demanding can only follow your partner when you leave one room of the home for another and leave no space for the relationship, or raise your voice in conversations to try to find more confidence.
However, let it be known that all a rational discussion regarding your partner’s needs can thwart these behaviors. If it is impossible to talk about what causes your relationship to be demanding, you will probably be better off alone.
You have moved on from criticism to contempt
Dr. Glazar says that you can begin calling them names and using sarcastic comments in an effort to get them down when you get to a point when your partner is irritating, but you are unwilling to leave. If that sounds familiar, you should know that it is probably the best way to get away, unless you communicate openly what fills you with contempt.
You expect your partner to meet all your demands
Although relationships are a marvelous addition of our lives, it is important to understand that our partners are not supposed to be our entire reason of living on earth. When you pressure a person to meet every need, relationship and sex expert believes that you are near to being single again as disaster could hit you.
You can’t rely on one person to meet any need on your own. There are many practical emotions, finances, sexual and spiritual needs. Instead of relying on someone for everything, turn to friends, family and other sources of support.
You may be too critical of your partner
According to Dr. Sara Glazer, a psychologist for health care and integrative therapy in New York, this can happen when people feel we overlook them. If someone feels like that, she says that the person can feel a high level of anxiety because of the distance perceived that leads to an intensive pursuit of the response.
“A partner may attack a partner’s character, call [them] ‘selfish’ or comment critically on a partner’s behavior, such as ‘You are sensitive to all but my own’,” she explains. The only problem is, if we perceive the distance, that we can find it as highly aggressive and uncertain behaviour.
You hardly communicate
We can’t say it sufficiently, but information sharing is all. Vulnerability expressions can deepen intimacy, particularly when love and reassurance are met. Your fears, insecurity, jealousy, and other unpleasant feelings are avoided if you express yourself in a pleasant manner. The sharing of these feelings can improve your connection and then ask yourself certain questions and open up to your partner.
Always remember to focus on your feelings, not to blame your partner, when asking yourself, trying to question yourself. For example, if you are open to speak about your jealousies, explain your jealousy and feel the reply from your partner before you admit that you are jealous. If you make this conversation friendly without sentiments, you can not transform the conversation from a bad one to a fruitful game in which it may avoid defensiveness.
You are too Judgemental
Often this is a stonewalling result. You may make them feel as though you were judging on their feelings when you refuse to share information on anything that matters to your partner. In this respect, it is important for you to talk about your partner and vice versa.
Compatibility is not driven by a desire for the same things; compatibility is the willingness, without judgment, to consider multiple prospects and to make the relationship work with a similar effort. Your partner, for instance, may want wild orgies, and candlelight romance may be preferable. If you are open to deeper into each other’s wishes and perspective, you can cultivate compatibility. Instead of say, ‘No way — end of debate. Try as much to have a more mutual conversation and understand each other picking a side and yelling in an attempt to have your wish done based on your own judgement.
A healthy relationship focuses on safe partnerships. A key element of this is that a clear emotional signals are transmitted and received. With the understanding of the underlying emotional needs, the goal is to learn to more constructively, express and respond to these needs to ensure security.
You can stop wondering why you are single, how you can develop your healthier relationships with yourself and with a partner, if you choose by understanding them and by knowing how to change them.