A tough medical diagnosis isn’t what anyone wants for themselves or those they love. It’s riddled with uncertainty and pressure-filled decisions. It’s taxing emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially for everyone involved. But one bright spot is the outpouring of support and encouragement from loved ones hoping to help.
Of course, knowing where you fit in the grand scheme of things is easier said than done. One thing is certain, if your friend is in the throes of illness, they need your support now more than ever. Here are ways to ensure everyone who wants to help has a role to make the best support system possible.
1. Designate Responsibilities
Any group needs its leader. But leaders aren’t able to get everything done on their own. That’s why creating a network of support for your friend with designated roles is so important.
This doesn’t have to be a strenuous process, though. You can begin by simply asking people what they’d like to do or if they have ideas of ways to help. Focus on having the main concerns covered including medical help, gift coordination, financial planning, and emotional support.
Then, work to get each area covered. Have a spouse or immediate family member manage medical conversations and daily medication. Ask someone to gather flower arrangements and other get well soon gifts to maintain organization. Task someone who is skilled with money to keep track of expenses and donations. Lastly, recruit a few friends who are able to spend time with your friend and ensure they’re coping emotionally.
Covering the basics and making use of the help people offer is the first priority. From there, you can add more people to the support system by having folks help with more practical tasks like transportation and grocery shopping. Ultimately, having everyone show out in support will be a morale boost for your friend.
2. Establish a Social Routine
Long hospital stays or recovering at home after a procedure are often lonely experiences. Your friend is limited in their options for social gatherings because of precautions or medical needs. So, encouraging the network of support to visit is a powerful way to help. That all can be managed by the emotional support group within the bigger support system.
This can be approached in a few ways. On one hand, they can be regimented and schedule routine visits so your friend gets plenty of socialization. That may be best if they’re an extrovert or could really use the distraction. Or, each person heads to your friend’s home or hospital room whenever they have time. Whether they bring activities or just plan to chat is up to them.
Both options accomplish the goal of ensuring your friend isn’t lonely and has social proof of support. It also can be encouraging to know about what else is happening in the world. Encourage visitors to share their latest wins and struggles, talk about celebrity gossip, or sports headlines. Aim to leave medical chats out of the conversation entirely if the patient wants a distraction.
Establishing a routine for your friend to spend quality time with loved ones can be healing in its own way. Their life while coping with an illness will look different from day to day. But hanging out with people they love can bring some much-needed normalcy.
3. Create a Meal Train
There’s something about good food that fuels the soul. Whether it’s homemade or from a great restaurant, a solid meal can vastly improve someone’s day. That’s why making a meal train is exactly what the meal coordinator in your support system should do.
They should start by thinking about what your friend’s favorite meals are. Make a list of their preferred dinner options, restaurant go-to orders, and any allergies or food intolerances. Then, give friends and family the option to choose what to get them each day.
Then, make a calendar — preferably one online that everyone can access — to coordinate. Have people sign up to drop off food or get it delivered to wherever your friend is. Make sure to update their address or delivery instructions to ensure everything gets to your friend.
A nutritious, delicious meal is only going to help your friend as they battle their sickness. Anything from a restaurant or home kitchen will help beat the monotony of hospital food. Plus, you’ll give your friend something to look forward to each day. Talk about a morale boost.
4. Organize Financial Help
A stress-inducing aspect of a chronic or serious illness is the finances. Medical visits, hospital stays, and medication do not come cheap. And navigating paying for these necessities on top of missing work can be a lot. So, having a financial planner as part of the support system you create is instrumental in making it through.
This person doesn’t have to be a financial planner by trade, although that would be helpful. They simply need to be organized and money-conscious. Managing any donations or contributions from fundraising, categorizing bills, and clarifying questions about money should be their main focus.
The financial go-to should keep your friend informed throughout the process. Of course, this can be a bit tricky since your friend may be tired or anxious about medical costs. Finding time each week or every other week to keep them informed may be the best bet. If all else fails, encourage them to discuss the dollars and cents with your friend’s spouse or immediate family member.
Money is important in many areas of life, but it shouldn’t be the focal point for someone who is sick. They need to focus on recovery. Aim to take as much of the worry away from your friend by handling things as they come. Remember to remind the financial planner to take advantage of hospital staff and other trusted professionals to guide them along the way.
Better Together
Life is different when a friend is battling an illness. It’s heavier, more stressful, and emotionally challenging. But it’s also a great example of how people can come together in support of someone they love. By creating a support system for your friend, you’re doing exactly that. And that’s something everyone can feel good about.
