Many factors combine to create male self-esteem, some more complicated than others. Someone’s childhood or family relationships will have an impact, as will other people in their lives – friends, work colleagues, sexual partners, ex-partners. Other influences will include popular culture and social media. One of the most fundamental aspects of all is simply being a male. Despite the overarching desire for gender equality, many men still see a need to be seen as strong and confident, and by being less than this can cause anxiety issues.
Success or failure drives so much of our activities
A large problem affecting male self-esteem is to do with pressure to succeed. Aside from the pandemic that has instigated previously unheard-of restrictions on employment practices, the working environment has always been driven by achievement. Productivity is commonly tied to financial reward. Less effective output leads to criticism; in more and more cases, demotion or even dismissal.
Why is it so important for males to feel successful when dating?
The main factors were identified that negatively affect male self-esteem were issues with identity, lack of confidence, a sense of not belonging, and worrying about competence. While these would all impact someone in their workplace, they could have even more significance when it comes to relationships. Men are often driven by the fear of being unsuccessful at dating, rather than viewing the activity with positivity. They want to be seen with an attractive female on their arms when they stroll into a bar. For many, it’s as much a boost to their ego, hence the need for celebrities to be seen photographed with models, or businessmen with ‘trophy wives.’
Key dating failures, and how these can be overcome
Online dating can be a minefield for the uninitiated looking for meet singles online. Browsing through seemingly endless profiles of prospective partners will certainly present a lot of choices, but which of these females are genuinely seeking a partner? How does a guy know how accurate the images are? At it hardly uncommon for an individual signing up to a dating site to choose either older, more flattering photographs, or to doctor them using software that will remove wrinkles.
Another issue with dating sites that will impact men’s self-esteem is being ghosted. They might have spent some time interacting with a particular site user, developing a rapport, perhaps divulging personal details, only for that person to vanish without a trace. They have simply moved on for whatever reason – perhaps they’re engaging with several other singles at the same time. But guys often take these brush-offs personally. It could dent their confidence when getting to know someone else.
The psychological impact of dating failure
It’s never pleasant when a relationship ends at any time, but the online environment will heighten the sense of failure. Surrounded by so many attractive singles, it’s only natural for rejection to leave someone feeling cut adrift. This will intrude into other areas of their life, affecting their overall mood. Low self-esteem will make a male less enthusiastic about dating in general. A strong relationship equates to positive sexual health, so when there’s no one to enjoy the physical side of things with, guys can feel marooned. In many cases, this can even lead to depression.
The good news is that dating failures can easily be put into context. Friends can rally round, offering encouragement. ‘Plenty of fish in the sea’ might be a familiar adage, but where online dating is concerned, it’s 100% true. The best way to get over being ghosted is, to use another useful saying, ‘get back in the saddle.’
Do dating site failures affect all men to the same extent?
No matter what trials and tribulations are thrown our way, everyone behaves differently. Some guys can easily brush off dating failures, especially if they’ve been site members for some time. Others feel their self-esteem plummeting. The important every guy should accept before joining any site is that success can never be guaranteed to happen overnight. The online environment is no different from offline dating. You still have to engage and develop chemistry, and always remain realistic about the possible outcomes.